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Thread: Womans World

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    Re: Womans World

    Eve's Chat With God (obviously a fairy tale) (really?? lol)

    "What is it, Eve?"

    "I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, especially that hilarious snake, but I'm just not happy."

    "And why is that Eve?"

    "Lord, I'm lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

    "Well, Eve, in that case I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

    "Man? What is that Lord?"

    "A flawed creature with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain. All in all, he'll give you a hard time, but he'll be bigger and faster and will love to hunt, fish and bring you good things to eat. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like playing cards and gambling and knocking a ball around. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly."

    "Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows," but what's the catch?"

    "Well,.. you can have him on one condition."

    "And what's that Lord?"

    "Well, since he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring, you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret... you know, woman to woman."


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  4. #32
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    Re: Womans World



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    Re: Womans World



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    Re: Womans World



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    Re: Womans World

    The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

    ---The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

    There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left.

    "Janie, do you have a story to share?"

    "Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

    She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops........

    She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

    ''Good Heavens, 'said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story'?"

    ...."Don't Screw with Mommy when she's been drinking."

    ....I love these touching stories !!!


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    Re: Womans World



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    Re: Womans World

    A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game. They had great
    seats right behind their team's bench.

    After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

    "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all
    the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each
    other over 25 cents."

    Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

    "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the
    game all they kept screaming was... 'Get the quarterback! Get the
    quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"


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    Re: Womans World



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    Re: Womans World

    A woman was lamenting that she had gained weight.
    She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported,
    and they'd eaten half of it at dinner.
    The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone.
    The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with her lack of willpower, and how she knew her husband would be disappointed.
    Everyone commiserated; until someone asked what her husband said when he found out.
    She smiled. "He never found out. I made another cake and ate half of it!"


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    Re: Womans World

    Definition of the word "Coincidence"

    A chicken farmer went to the local bar ... He sat next to a woman and ordered champagne.

    The woman said: "How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne."

    "What a coincidence" said the farmer, who added: "It is a special day for me ... I'm celebrating.


    "It is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!" said the woman.

    "What a coincidence" said the farmer.

    While they toasted, the man asked: "What are you celebrating?"

    "My husband and I have been trying to have a child for years, and today, my gynecologist told me that I was pregnant."

    "What a coincidence!" said the farmer. "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but now they are all set to lay fertilized eggs."

    "This is awesome" said the woman. "What did you do for your chickens to become fertile?"

    "I used a different rooster" the farmer said.

    The woman smiled and said: "What a coincidence"


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    Re: Womans World

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    Re: Womans World

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    Re: Womans World



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    Re: Womans World

    A man had just finished reading his book "Man Of The House" while making
    his commute home from work. By the time he reached home, he stormed
    into the house and walked directly up to his wife, pointing his finger in
    her face, he said "From now on I want you to know that I am the man of the
    house and my word is law! You are to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and
    when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a scrumptious dessert afterward.
    Then, after dinner, you're going to draw my bath so I can relax. And when
    I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

    "The Funeral Director would be my guess," said his wife.


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    Re: Womans World

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    GIF



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